I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
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