i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
