I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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