Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Randomize
