i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
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