I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
