I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
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