i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize
