hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
