i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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