i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
home. puking in laundry basket.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
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