then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
