1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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