mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
