And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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