Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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