hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
