Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
