Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
