peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Gay?
German.
Pity.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Randomize