Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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