I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
