The maid of honor just puked.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
My butt remains clenched, sir.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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