I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
