Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
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