So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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