He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
