"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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