she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
This house was built for laser tag.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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