My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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