Dual....:-)
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Randomize
