they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
