Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
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