Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
I understand Curling. That high.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize