Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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