Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
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