my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
