Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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