Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
