No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
