cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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