Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
