Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
