Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
