hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Randomize
