i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
