He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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