Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Randomize
