I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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