I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
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