How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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