Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
