so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
