Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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