im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
