I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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