I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Can I color on your dick again?
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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