He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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