fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Please don't give away my fajitas
Randomize
