Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
