I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Randomize
