he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
