It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
