doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
this hospital has no fireball
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Randomize
