She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
