Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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