Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
