Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
