Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
