I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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