I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
how does that bad decision feel?
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