It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
