Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
