We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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