this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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