I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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