New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
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