I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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