She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
