Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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