I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
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