i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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