He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize