I'm lost and stupid without you.
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
